Keep On Keeping On
By Fred Pruitt
In working on a reply to you, I realized that the attached link to my blog was everything I could say regarding your questions. Sometimes you just have to slog it out, day after day after day. You are right to only seek and acknowledge the “keeping” of the Lord, because you know you cannot “keep” yourself. I know many people who have had times such as you describe, including bi-polar, manic depressive, alcoholism and smoking cigarettes.
Keep on doing what you are doing. Rest in the Lord, regardless of how you feel, regardless of how many times you think you have “fallen,” just get back up, don’t blame yourself and don’t blame God, but just trust trust trust that He has you and IS your deliverance, which always starts and is realized “within,” before it shows up in the outer, or even if it never shows up in the outer.
The Inner is the REAL! The outer is passing by faster than the scenery from a fast moving train. You know you can’t look straight out into the scene when we’re in a fast vehicle. Immediately in front of our vision the scene moves so quickly it is sometimes difficult for our brains to comprehend what we see.
However, when we view it looking at an angle to the left or right, everything looks normal, not rushing by, but it keeps proceeding forward as we keep entering into different vistas and environments, while where we came from recedes from sight and often even memory.
That’s what’s happening when are trying so hard, even trying hard to not try, wanting so much to be released, it’s because of the confusion we see before us when we look directly into the whizzing scenery not far from the ends of our noses, and we cannot make any sense of it nor will we ever! Remember what Paul said,
“Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, 14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” (Phil 3:13,14).
Get your eyes off the past which was gone before you even perceived it, let it recede, and do not stare hypnotically into the confusion, either, but always keep your sight forward and upward. That is the moving of the Spirit in you and continually see Christ in your vision, not apart from you, but as You,! He has the reins, and HE IS YOUR TEACHER who guides you every step of the way and ultimately you see He IS the REAL you!
Let these things simmer in you, and above all, do not know any fear, be no longer afraid, and trust the Shepherd in you in everything you do.