What the Heck Am I Up To

What the Heck Am I Up To?

By Fred Pruitt

(Taken from previous “Update and Personal Notes”)

Allow me to wax a tad self-indulgent for a bit.

“What the heck am I up to?” Sometimes it is by the Spirit that this question comes up. As I say over and over, the Spirit of God brings us to consciousness, “knowing” God in oneness in understanding and wisdom in all things.

All things (events, circumstances, etc.) therefore have a dual purpose in our lives. We are ever being taught day by day by the Spirit in us. There is never a day in Christ when the light does not burn brighter inwardly than the day before, though the brilliance may temporarily be concealed behind contrary situations.

The second purpose, which is always operative as much as the first is, is that God, by us, would affect and reconcile the world in which He has placed us in His Wisdom. We are to be its Salt, its Light, its Bread and its Lamb.

The kingdom of God is a flowing river and not a dammed up reservoir. It is in this “flowing out” into the world, (our lives involved with and affecting others), that more is drawn out of the infinitely full cistern within us, in and through our being, so that there is constantly an increase.

“Give and you will receive.”* That is exactly what happens. We give what we get (receive), and then we get more, and then we give more, because by the flowing out of the “exhaust,” that more comes into the “intake.” That is how it works. *(That scripture passage is of course almost always used to speak of money in our day, but the principle is about everything in life, not just money.)

I’ve related before NPG’s famous comment when someone new to understanding union asked, “I don’t really have this all straight, so how can I speak it to others?”

Norman replied, “Just give what you’ve got!”

This is it! Let us all hear this — “just give what you’ve got!” What do you have? Your self mainly, out of which your mouth speaks. Christ comes out of our words when we are His. So whatever the understanding is, deeper still is the mind of Christ in us, and it just happens that we begin to express from that mind. That is what this is meaning. Of course there is a giving and receiving principle in other things, but we are speaking here of the Topmost, out of which comes all those other things.

It is not a bad thing to sometimes have a little personal in Spirit tally-up session. Sort of a where am I? and where and am I going? “Quo Vadis?”

In our beginning in Christ Jesus, the “cross life” was not on our agenda, and if we thought about it then, sometimes it was more with the adventurous romantic nature of youth, that we might give ourselves to the Lord like that. Those thoughts, at least in my case, were more about me than Him. “I” wanted to be one of those guys, figuring they would be top in the Lord’s approval list.

But after we have grown up and know Who and What we are about, the “cross life” is part and parcel of our very being, involving us in sometimes very unpleasant situations and even to martyrdom in our present day. But for most of us it is the involvement with life around us, that brings out the cross life, and by that, accomplishes continual resurrection out of much death. (2 Cor 4:8-12).

This is the Romans exhortation to, “present your bodies a reasonable sacrifice.” (Rom 12:1), that all those years we “tried” so hard to do. Continually re-dedicating ourselves and redoubling our efforts in the constant hope that we can find and use the mysterious elusive “key” that we believe will relieve us from all the condemnation we experience because we believe we never measure up. It’s like hunting for the Lost Dutchman’s Gold mine. We believe it’s out there somewhere, and keep nursing the hope that one day we’ll find it. But just like the myriads of people who went out into the Arizona desert certain THEY would find it, eventually they had to give up.

But unlike those prospectors, the best thing that can happen to US is to not find the mine. Why? Because the “mine” of self-effort doesn’t exist. It only exists in our false imaginations. We will NEVER succeed at living the Divine Life while in the flesh. And as long as we are “trying” to live a godly life our eyes are blinded from the truth of Who we are and Whose Life we contain.

One of the greatest pictures of this in scripture is the camp of the Israelites while they were at Sinai. Only Moses could approach and climb the mountain. There were earthquakes, thunderings and lightnings while the people cowered in fear, not able to even “touch” the mountain or their lives would be consumed. Yet Moses walked through all that and ascended the mountain. The Hebrew children saw only what they thought was God’s “wrath,” because they were flesh-minded and could not see things any differently. Moses, from the Burning Bush on, was a Spirit man, God’s man. And the 40 years in the desert had taught him the surpreme benefit – knowing his own complete inability to deliver his people, as God was telling him to do. 40 years previous he had killed an Egyptian guard who was abusing one of his people, thinking they would see him as God’s deliverer. Instead, he had to flee Egypt because Pharaoh would have had him executed. Not much of a deliverer! But when the Lord spoke to him out of the Burning Bush, Moses showed he knew he was no deliverer in himself. God would have to do it. He had “come to the end of himself.”

And the same happens to us. Once we see we’re not it, the way is open for us to see Who the real deliverer is and where He lives – Christ IN US!! So then there is no doubt that He has done this. We are used to being His. We are used to not having a clue. We are used to being perplexed now and then. We are used to not getting the next step until we have reached it. We are used to the provision of God. We have seen him over and over bring life out of death and though it is of the miraculous (to human reason) “nature” every time it happens, we are used to it happening.

This is some sense it what “fatherhood” is. What took years to be made clear in us we are now able to pass on as solid realities that are no more “attachments” we tried to add to ourselves, but just us being us. It is Emmanuel.

“Fred,” I’ve been asking myself, “What are you up to?”

“Are you trying to build a ministry?”

Well, no. I’d have a fancier more well-done blog if I was after that.

“Well, what then?”

For the past several days all sorts of answers have been floating around in my brain. “Well, what then? Hmmm.

As I sat down to write this my head was full of them. Now they (the answers that had come to me) have all fled, I can’t even remember them, except this one I had not noticed among all the other “more concrete practical,” answers.

It is only the word of John the Baptist to the priests and Levites from Jerusalem: “I am the Voice of One crying in the wilderness, make straight the way of the Lord.”

As if affects me, it is just a simple job. Keep crying in the wilderness. Prepare a highway for our God!

I think this is all of us, not just me. It still is very much a wilderness out there, a wilderness of the Word of God. This is where we walk.

One might ask, “I thought you said we walk in the Promised Land.”

Yes, we do, but we also walk as Joshua and Caleb, who had already entered the Promised Land in their faith when all the rest of Israel fell into unbelief and thus could not go in to possess the land. Joshua and Caleb, though in spirit already in the land, nevertheless became their brethren’s constant faith companions and beacons through the next 38 years of their journey, and were able after Moses’ death to lead the children across the Jordan into possessing the land.

So we walk in the wilderness and in paradise at the same time. That is something we also get used to.

I think it is clear that I “operate” out of a network of many wonderful friends and colleagues in the Lord. We have never desired to organize in any way past friendship and love in the Spirit, rather than a board of directors and all the accompanying “stuff.” After all these years, I am glad we have not gone that way.

Of course we are not critical of any work where Christ is preached, even if in ways that are disagreeable to me. I celebrate the word of the Lord wherever Jesus Christ is proclaimed, period. Let all do what they have been called to do in the Lord!! I cannot but see for others who labor in Christ (whether in agreement with me or not), that which I would desire for myself: (Rom 14:4) “Who art thou that judgest another man’s servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand.”

I see this as well in the same vein. Jesus’ last word to Peter in John, when he asked, “And what shall this man do?” Jesus we know replied, “What is that to you? You follow me!”

That makes me content then to be just a small voice crying in the vast wilderness. Let’s keep on crying out there, shouting from the housetops or from the next seat at the party, tavern or pew, always bearing about in our bodies the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus would appear in our mortal flesh, and bless the world.

I think that is all we are after.

Thank you to all of you who have been loving and supportive of Janis and me in so many ways, and continue to be. We intend to carry on as the wind blows.

Also, thanks SO MUCH to all those who continue to support me so that I might continue in the meantime with these “writings” and “audios” that I must do. They seem to be going out far and wide and ending up in places I never expected, and having edifying “effects” in people’s lives, going by what many have told me. We can only attribute that to the Lord. From the very beginning we have acknowledged the One Who called us, to be our “support,” and we seek it from no other. But of course, the “way” the Father keeps us going is through the “giving” that He puts into the minds of those He has chosen to participate with us, and we appreciate with thanksgiving each and every gift, large or small. We just commit it to the Lord and trust Him to come through perfectly and always “on time,” and He does. To participate with us in this way, click this link, Support. It will be much appreciated and timely.

God bless all of you by opening your understanding to the fullness of Who you are, Whose Life you express, Whose mind you live by, and His works that flow through your Life out into the world around you!

6 thoughts on “What the Heck Am I Up To

    • Hi Jerry, I like your questions and will get to you. Haven’t forgotten you but I’m behind in answering folks so be patient a day or two more and I should have something to you shortly. I see you have added to the first thing you wrote me about, so I’ll included it all when I reply. Until then, you’re safe in His arms!

  1. “So we walk in the wilderness and in paradise at the same time. That is something we also get used to.” – this is what Sue and I say is the ebb and flow of life. By faith, it is paradise and wilderness at the same time. Its a paradox but its the truth, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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