If God Be For Us
Or – Is My Family Under a Curse?
By Fred Pruitt
More than a decade ago, a man wrote me with the question, “Are we cursed?” For years life in his family had been very rocky with many disagreeable and hard-to-bear circumstances. So many things had happened that he wondered if he and his family were under some sort of curse. He blamed all the negative circumstances on Satan’s assaults. The worst circumstance in his mind, however, was that his daughter who had been raped several years before, now lived in a lesbian relationship. He was wondering in effect how do we turn these situations back to what they should be, and get rid of the devil. This below is an edited and expanded version of what I wrote back to him.
First of all, I have to first of all take issue with something you said. This is it: “… but I know that their are spiritual forces at work to destroy us as a family and it has been very, very apparent for the last 20 years, to the point that people always ask why these things always happen to us.”
My point to differ with you is that this is to build you up, not to destroy you.
The first place you have to put your eyes is on God and not on Satan. Sure, the bad guys are out to destroy you. And me, and everybody else they can get their hands on. They work overtime at it.
So what? “Why do the heathen rage? …. The Lord shall have them in derision.” (Ps 2:1,4). Do you think any of those plotters worry God? “He shall have them in DERISION!”
No power can stand against Him, because there is no other power. Jesus said, “All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth.” (Matt 28:18). So what “power” is left to come against you? Even if it appears evil or destructive, there is no power except in God. Satan’s “power” is first of all, only in darkness, and secondly, it is not his, but a misuse of the “One Power” which is God’s and no one else’s.
The worst thing that ever happened on earth was the crucifixion of Jesus of Nazareth. Mankind slew the Son of God by lying and deceitful means. Yet, when Peter started to protest Jesus’ allowing Himself to be taken by the Romans instead of fighting back, Jesus replied, “Then said Jesus unto Peter, Put up thy sword into the sheath: the cup which my Father hath given me, shall I not drink it?” (John 18:11). In all three synoptic Gospels, when Jesus prays in Gethsemane, it is always about “this cup.” “Let this cup pass from me if possible.” That is where He struggled for three hours to settle it, sweating blood, finally settling it once and for all, “Not my will, but Thine be done.”
As far as you being “under a curse,” the Cross nullifies any curse, making them null and void. “Behold, I make all things new,” should be sufficient for us to see and believe it. But if you cannot believe that, consider what happened to Balaam when, for money, he attempted to “curse the children of Israel” for the King of Moab, who greatly feared the approaching Israelites. Balaam tried to accommodate the King, but the Spirit of God spoke out of his mouth something entirely opposite of what the King had in mind.
He hath not beheld iniquity in Jacob, neither hath he seen perverseness in Israel: the LORD his God is with him, and the shout of a king is among them. God brought them out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn. Surely there is no enchantment against Jacob, neither is there any divination against Israel: according to this time it shall be said of Jacob and of Israel, What hath God wrought!” (Num 23:21-23).
Catch that? “There is no enchantment against Jacob, neither is there any divination against Israel.” Even if someone had to “power” to curse us, through the Cross and by the Blood and Body of Jesus it is impossible for them to affect us. Same thing with these “generational curses” some people say have to be exposed and rooted out in order to straighten out our lives. Poppycock! When we come to Christ and He comes into us, THERE ARE NO MORE CURSES!!!
What is “the cup” as it regards us? Paul says we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. That was the Life that drove Jesus, Who, “for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Heb 12:2). The “joy set before Him” was not going back to Divine Bliss with the Father in the heavenlies, but that He was taking with Him, “many sons unto glory.” (Heb 2:10).
And now, we, who are filled with Him, live the same Lamb-Life unto God that He did. We acknowledge no other “power,” and listen to no accusations from the tempter. The prince of this world comes … and he sure does from time to time … but he is just a blowhard and a liar, and he has no place in us. He tempts us daily that we might know the power of Christ in us that overcomes!
You have to ask yourself and finally come down to answering the question: Who is in charge? IF God is in charge, then what or who will come against you to destroy you, since you are God’s? There is no power that can set itself against you. And if a wicked power were arrayed against you, Who caused it to be and for what purpose would it be? (Gen 50:20).
Secondly, allow the blame to be lifted from yourself. You didn’t mention blaming yourself in what you wrote, but perhaps this shoe might fit a little bit. “There is now therefore no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk according to the Spirit.”
You have been the perfect father for her! We don’t look to human weakness and apparent “imperfection” as the final reality, but trust the Living God in us, Who promises to live in us and to walk in us and be our God. Within.
Going back to the first point, “Who is in charge?,” you have to step back from the forefront of your emotional involvement just a bit to see the big picture.
Does God love your daughter? Does God love the person who you believe is leading your daughter astray? Has He mapped out a plan for their lives? Is His redemption planned for them? (Some might be tempted at this point to say that it might not be God’s plan for either of them to “be saved,” so we could not just assume that. What a crazy notion! It is just the opposite! It is because we have become part of their world that I can say in faith God means to save particularly this or that person. God brought them into “my” world so that I might know them in my faith in Christ, and by some means convey that knowing into them as the Spirit gives the increase.)
So I am answering yes to the question that “redemption is planned for them.” Does He know everything it will take, everything that needs to be said, experienced, thought, questioned, to bring them to the end of their separate selves and into the freedom of His Kingdom and union with Him? Can you TRUST HIM with your daughter’s life? Can you see HIM in your daughter? (Oh, believe me, He’s there. I don’t know your daughter, but see Him plain as day as the Lamb in the midst of her heart.)
You mentioned all the psychological reasons your daughter might be going this way, as if correcting that will fix the problem. It won’t. Everything that has happened to your daughter, everything, including the rape and a lesbian relationship, will all be resurrected and filled with Life. I can see it even now. That won’t happen because her psychology improves. It comes from God within. Only He can make all things new.
Bottom line, can you see God at work in what is repulsive sin to you? That might be a hard one, but you are not just you, but Christ in you, Who is strength in your weakness. He is also your single eye, opening your mind and heart to seeing only Him and His purposes at work. Every wicked thing that has come to your daughter is a seed of grace and will be the Tree by which she testifies of Christ. Believe.
I have no “practical advice” on how to solve this situation. Like I told somebody last week, I don’t know any answer to anything except Christ in us and faith.
My experience, however, would lead me to say that a hard-line stand and puritanism would probably drive your daughter away, whereas acceptance of her and even her friend at least on a social level with genuine respect for them and who they are (as free human beings on the path to finding themselves), would probably keep them within the reach of your affection and keep the lines of communication open.
I’m not sure pamphlets about the evils of homosexuality would do anything other than alienate.
Even though you might think they need “law,” show grace. Jesus said to “sinners” who hadn’t even repented, “Man, thy sins are forgiven thee.” That made the Pharisees mad, telling “sinners” they were forgiven. Yet they ARE! Did you know that? All “sinners” (including you and me) are ALREADY forgiven. (“Lamb slain in the midst of the Throne from the foundations of the earth.”) So to say to anyone, whether or not they’ve repented already, “Man thy sins ARE forgiven thee,” is TRUTH, and cold water to a thirsty soul. And in this case, I would say that “man thy sins are forgiven thee” is more an attitude than anything we might say. If we hold no sin against anyone in our hearts and minds, that in and of itself imparts forgiveness, probably lots more than words. That is God’s way. (A lot of folks also believe somebody must “show repentance” in some way in order to be forgiven, therefore we cannot just say to someone, “Your sins are forgiven.” Yet Jesus did. Any objections take up with Him.)
Remember, we love Him, not because we thought it up, but because He FIRST loved us! He awoke love in us by loving us — while WE WERE yet sinners! And we do the same by loving them, surprising them, because many think that they are unlovable and condemn themselves (and they don’t need us to condemn them further).
You can’t be concerned about your own “Christian” integrity or what other people will think about you. Your only concern is with your daughter. Your heart has to guide your way in this, more than your head. Being concerned with one’s “Christian integrity” or how it “looks” to the brethren or the world is not of the Spirit.
But finally, God Himself is the only answer. You cannot know the way to go, or find the strength to go there if you knew the way. Every day is God’s Day, and every day is a mystery. You walk it step by step in the faith that He is living your life, and that the Life you are living is His Love expressed, and trust everyday, one day at a time, to Him.
I do understand your agony. I have three adult children. We have not been spared the problems of the world any more than anybody else. So I know, and I do understand.
But the only thing that keeps me sane or keeps me from running off to Tahiti (I can’t afford to get there, so it would probably have to be Panama City), is knowing God truly is Love and His Love runs the whole show. Hard to believe, hard to swallow sometimes, especially when things get SO personal, but true nevertheless.
“I will both lay me down and sleep, in peace, for thou, O Lord, only makest me to dwell in safety.” (Ps 4:8) You can broaden that “me” in the verse in your faith, from “me” to “all who I hold up in my faith.” We, and all those, too, dwell in safety. It is a Spirit safety, not necessarily a flesh safety. One – Spirit safety – is eternal and true, the other – flesh safety – doesn’t really exist.
Finally, let me leave you with this. I got it from John Bunting, who said it’s the only prayer he ever prays for His children and grandchildren:
“Lord, all I ask it that they may know You, and the power of Your resurrection!” (Phil 3:10)
That’s all we want for ourselves, our children, and our world.