I Don’t Feel or Hear God Anymore

I Don’t Feel or Hear God Anymore

2015 Updated Preface

Top Post of Last Five Years

I posted my first articles on the https://thesingleeye.wordpress.com, on July 21, 2010. Almost two years ago now. On my previous (now defunct) website, there was no way to keep track of what articles were being read. But on the WordPress blog, that is very easy to keep up with. And consistently, since I first posted the article below on September 16, 2010, this post has been the most “read:” “I Don’t Feel or Hear God Anymore.” (I guess I could call it the most popular.)

I have to think it is of note that this is the article that has been read more than any other posts (now 513 posts) on the blog. It must strike a chord that sounds in all of us.

I think maybe part of the reason is that this is the heart of the matter, is it not? Did not Jesus pray, in His last prayer before the Garden in John, “That they might know thee, the only True God, and Jesus Christ, Whom He hath sent”? (Jn 17:3) This is the heart of the gospel. This is the heritage of the saints in light. Union, fellowship, with God!

And that is not understood and lived only when we are conceptually correct and intellectually satisfied, but by the Spirit and of the Spirit, where the voice of man is no longer heard, except it be the Spirit Who speaks in that man. That is why we must press through all the “what ifs” and “how to’s” and what our preachers say and what the books say, into God Himself. We don’t worship grace. We worship God. We don’t worship union. We worship God.

So it all boils down to God and us. As some of the older writers call it, “the Alone with the alone.” Everything I write, everything I seek to get across, to share, is really all about this one thing.

And this “one thing,” is not a “thing” at all, but a Person, The Person, and He is eternal Mystery; He is past finding out. We cannot “figure out” God. How can the thing “made” figure out that which made it? That is like expecting goldfish to come up with a clear and concise definition of the “Great Being,” who comes and dumps fish food into their bowl everyday, and then departs out of their sight into another realm (room) where they have never been and of which they can have no possible concept. We know as much of God as do those goldfish, or as much of God as the cows know the farmer that brings them the hay everyday. And as great as are the scientific explorations and accomplishments we have seen in our days, even the science of man reaches no further into understanding the Great Mystery than the goldfish or the cows do in their understandings. He is past finding out.

However, we can say we Do know Him as He has made Himself known in us. We may not have an adequate intellectual understanding of the Life which works in us, and have far more questions than answers, but He has made Himself known in us by His Spirit. And, despite the insatiable insistence of appearances which continually rise up as if in opposition to God, claiming “they” are our truth, nonetheless every day the Spirit walks us through that valley of shadow and we reach the still waters which flow out of Him in our middle, and every day, by His Spirit Who is our continual inner “witness,” we rise out of death into life, and this is not to or for our own benefit but for the edification, perfection and equipping of the saints of God, the whole body of Christ, for “And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.” (Rev 14:11).

So I am passing on this article again. If it strikes a chord with you please feel free to share with others.

Thanks,

fred

I Don’t Feel or Hear God Anymore (Original Text)

by Fred Pruitt

(From an email)

Dear Fred,

I just read your post on Lazarus and wanted to respond.

Lately, it seems I have fallen into disbelief. It is not so much that I look at myself and doubt that God could take up residence in me. I believe that on faith. It is just that I feel a lag, like I have taken by faith my union with God, that I am Lazarus, dead but believing and waiting for the Lord to call me into life. I have felt for a long time now that I am in limbo…waiting for His voice to call me forth. I honestly don’t know if I know what joy is and am wondering about abundant life. If what I have is abundant life, then I am sorely disappointed (I know that may sound like an awful thing to say). There was a time when I felt His presence and heard His voice but it seems so quiet now. I keep wondering if I have done something to “blow it” but I know that cannot be because it is not about me. My mantra seems to be “don’t worry”. well, I was just wondering if you have many of these times.

Thanks for listening.

_______________________________________________________

Dear _____________

There’s hardly a week that goes by that I don’t feel the onslaught of what you are talking about. I think we all do. It’s a great place to be because light shines in the darkness. That’s what John 1:5 says. “If I make by bed in hell, lo, thou art there.”

Hell (worry, onslaughts of temptation to unbelief) is the place where we find Him. I would say to you to rejoice, for your redemption draweth nigh! It is not about “feeling” Presence or hearing His voice in the same way you used to know. This is sometimes pure believing (standing in the truth) when you cannot perceive anything tangible. When you realize you cannot even believe anymore, hallelujah, then you are at the bottom, because believing is all that is required of you, yet you cannot even do that. Hallelujah!

Then you begin to see it is His faith operating in you. When you cannot say it or see it He in you is saying and seeing it. It is all too much for us, but we find ourselves anyway confessing to the Lord, “I don’t think I can go on with this, but I have no other way to go. So you must do it, because I cannot.”

Maybe we seem to hold on with our fingernails, afraid to let go because hell is below me ready to swallow me up, but I let go finally anyway and find myself upheld in the Everlasting Arms.

There are times when I’ve said, like the children of Israel, that life was better before I knew Christ. Why would I want to get anybody involved in this crap I’m feeling? It’s great to come to the bottom.

And then to realize that Christ went down to the lowest depths only to be raised to the HIGHEST heights, and He took us there together with Him. Look at the emphasis on the word “together” in Ephesians 2:5,6. “Quickened us TOGETHER, raised us TOGETHER, and has made us “sit TOGETHER.” You see, there we are TOGETHER with Him, so that where He is, we are, and where we are, He is.

So that’s your reality. That is what you are living in at this present moment. That is your truth. So you don’t “feel” it, but you are being taken into something beyond “feeling,” and into “knowing,” but it isn’t an objective knowing like you know the sky is blue and 2+2=4, but rather the same kind of “mixed-together” knowing as when Adam “knew” Eve, his wife.

You now know subjectively, rather than objectively, that is, God has moved Himself in your consciousness from outside you to inside you, and you just “know” it, from within.

Right now you say you have taken the faith stand but do not have the “knowing.” Don’t make too much of that. Stand on what you have taken in faith as your present living truth. Don’t wait for some kind of “experience” to overtake you because you can just live right now walking around as He every day. It becomes an unconscious/consciousness. You don’t wake up every morning and have to remind yourself who you are, you just are you, with no particular feeling about it. You can’t help being you. Well, He is joined to you in this same inner way. He and You are One, and you just live in it.

It isn’t an experience that you know outside yourself as something that has come on you, some “thing” you are supposed to feel or see, but this inner knowing is simply you being you and you being Him in your world. You don’t “feel” that but you just are that. Like in your daily activities, I don’t say, “OK, this is Fred doing this, this is Fred doing that.” No, you just do your stuff, not even thinking about “I am doing this stuff” because you’re just doing it. You forget yourself and do what you do.

Same with this. He and you are one, so you just walk around doing what you do and you forget yourself and you forget you’re Christ in you but you’re just you being you and it IS being Him. This does not make any sort of sense to reason but is the Truth of who you are.

Just accept it and say, “Ok, Lord, you are one with me and when I am walking it is you walking,” and then forget it and get on with your life. There will always be times that doubt will assail you but He will uphold you in all those times and walk you through, because, remember, He isn’t doing this just for you, but for all those in your world that He reaches by you, because He flows out of you. You’re right on the money!

Bless you,
fred

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9 thoughts on “I Don’t Feel or Hear God Anymore

  1. Mourning, mourning, mourning. Consecutive (and non-stopping) inner deaths. Shattering of all my certainties and concepts.And of all my past experiences (which have no longer any value). All hope is now gone.This *Loss of All Things* is definitely worst than sickness and depression. I am walking (or, rather: I am unwillingly being led) thru a tragic *Night* in which nothing is to be seen but utter Darkness. This Process kills the soul, literally.Crushes the heart. And deeply obscures the intellect. This article/post (provided below), somehow…, turned out to be a consolation for my ‘yet unconsolable soul’. Thank you Fred.Your unknown friend in Him,Ben

    Date: Sun, 31 May 2015 14:03:24 +0000 To: benoitmichel_72@hotmail.com

    • Brother, yes, I KNOW how tough it is to be where you are, because I HAVE BEEN THERE, too! But do not despair. Light comes eventually, and when it does, it swallows up the pain and negativity you have been experiencing with new found joy, and you will be on solid footing as you have never known. God does not fail! And He will not fail you! I am going to send you another article along this line via email, since it is not posted on the blog. It may help some, too!

  2. I believe, I believe, I believe! I don’t always understand, but I believe, I believe, I believe. I know Him in whom I have believed but I still carry a load of self consciousness that I am acutely aware of in all I do. May my self consciousness be swallowed up by consciousness of Him!

    Thanks Fred, as Peter said of Paul’s writings, your writings are not always easy to intellectually grasp, but they always leave me dependent on His Spirit.

    • Hi Tim! So glad you have found this helpful. Here is something that might help you more. A common misunderstanding — or preconceived idea may be more accurate — that many of us have, is that “consciousness of Him” is “something.” That is, something tangible that we can identify, an “experience,” or a “feeling,” or some perceived “knowing” that is above and beyond and different from our normal “self-consciousness.” We keep waiting for that, thinking that this “norm” we live in will somehow be made different, changed, etc. I certainly thought that for quite a while — years in fact. The Spirit made two things regarding this clear for me a while back, and perhaps this can help you. First, we are always, in this life, saddled with “self-consciousness.” It is impossible not to be, owing to the fact that we ARE selves, and we cannot help being conscious of that fact. It is not self-consciousness that has to go, only “wrongful” self-consciousness, which is the consciousness of independence IN the self. That’s is what the Romans 7 excperience is all about. It is not about overcoming sinful deeds, though that may be what drives us there, but about discovering the true nature of our selfhood, as a CONTAINER-SELF only, with no inherent power of our own to produce either sin or righteousness. Paul comes to many great revelations in that Romans 7 chapter, but the one that concerns us at the moment is his revelation, which may seem negative but is not, that “I find that in myself dwells no good thing.” He does NOT say he is evil, only that he is “not good.” That is exactly what Jesus said, and I’m sure you know this, to the “rich young ruler:” “Why do you call me good. There is no one Good, except God.” It is an “emptiness” of self, an availability of self since it is not filled with anything else, that, filled with the Spirit of God, causes me to overcome and walk in Romans 8 as we come to it. We lose that false self-sufficiency of the self, but not the consciousness of “self” in its right use. Then, the second issue, that of being overwhelmed by a “consciousness of Him,” suffers from the same misconception. The FAITH itself that causes you to confess it, IS THE SUBSTANCE AND THE EVIDENCE of the “consciousness of Him,” which does not “feel” like anything. It just IS. It IS whether you are awake or asleep. It IS whether you are driving in your car or sitting in church. It IS whether you feel like crap or if you feel good. It IS because HE IS, and HE cannot deny Himself in us. ALL we do is take it by faith, confess it as the Lord puts the WORD in our mouth, and live on the completed basis of it in the NOW. Remember, in 1 John 3:2a, “Beloved, now are we the sons of God.” NOW — THIS MOMENT!!! Take it as yours! You ARE! Period! What is the consciousness of HIM? People keep looking for some sort of transcendent experience, when the real truth is you only find your true and LASTING consciousness of Him in your faith — that’s where it comes from! Don’t say, “I know I am one with Him but I hope one day to be conscious of it.” Instead say, MY consciousness is YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS IN ME, LORD. Whose MIND do you have? The Mind of Christ. YOU ARE the consciousness, not “have it.”

  3. Mar 4:39 Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace, be still!” And the wind ceased and there was a great calm.
    I have had a terrible couple of days in Him…it seemed that I was certainly the only one living in this body. Feelings were overwhelming me. In the end I made the decision through gritted teeth to declare the truth that I am constantly one with Him, that He has my flesh, fills it with Himself even! I shouted in the car that nothing has changed between You and I. We are one. He is just as much with me on my bad days as my good days!! Darn emotions! I AM! thanks Fred, you’re a blessed warrior! You are like David sent to the front lines with a basket full of goodies to stregthen the hands that hang down…and the feeble knees. Hallelujah. I will never leave you nor forsake you, no never! Heb 13:5

    • Amen, Dennis, wonderful testimony! ” And they overcame him (the accuser of the brethren) by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death!” The Lamb IN ACTION! Bless you!
      fred

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