The Love that Overcomes
By Fred Pruitt
My dear _______,
The first thing I want to talk about is one of your last statements, — “I feel like He is ignoring me.”
Actually, that is impossible, _______, for God to be ignoring you. He has never left you nor has He ever forsaken you. You see, most of us have been programmed one way or another while growing up, that if we are “right” with God, then none of these kinds of problems would exist — such as, divorce, or difficulties with children, etc. Then when these kinds of things happen, because of that incorrect programming we’ve all received from our false father who runs the world, we get a double whammy against ourselves. First, the fact that the problem is happening and we seem helpless to do anything about it — so we blame and possibly hate ourselves for that.
Second, the problem itself keeps us down and out, because it is right here the enemy bowls us over with condemnation and tells us God is angry with us, or we haven’t done our best, or we try our best to “fix” it but nothing works and the problems just keep getting worse — in our perception.
God is love, and sometimes love is tough. God loves you and desires only your best. Also, God loves your ex-husband and the other woman as much as He loves you. What we do or do not do, never diminishes God’s love toward us, because He can be nothing BUT love. That is simply Who He IS. Ultimately, God is not after marriages staying together (human marriage is temporal), as much as He is after our coming to understand our true marriage to Him first of all, (whether we are man or woman — we are all as “spouse” to God). This is accomplished in Christ’s entry into us to become one person with us in our inner spirit selves. What is born of that inner union is the “new man” God created us to be in the Spirit.
That is God’s priority — to bring people to Himself through the difficulties we experience in life. We think the difficulties are the point so we are looking more to “repair” or “fix” something than we are for God Himself. We think the situation being “fixed” would be a definitive sign of Divine Approval, so we’re problem oriented and solution oriented, but not God oriented. This is not intentional on our part — God has brought us here to this place for His purposes, to loosen the hold of the outer life on us so that we might penetrate all the way through circumstances, darkness, difficulties, and every single other thing in life to see God at the Center in and of everything. And not just that we get a little glimpse! It becomes the Living Reality in which we walk!
The New Testament in several occasions describes God the Father and Christ as “All in all.” That is pretty pervasive! He is the ALL in all. There is nothing left “outside” that is “Not God.” Bottom line, what this means is that through the Holy Spirit Who lives in us and forms Christ in us, we learn to penetrate past all that other stuff, whether instigated by human sources or demonic, to see what God is doing, and to be joined with Him and His purposes. That is our inner personal discovery. When we’re in God’s purposes rather than we trying to get Him on board with what “WE” want, He now has us permanently onboard with what HE wants! You see, God always means good, but it often starts out in what appears to be evil.
A prime example is Jacob’s 11th son, Joseph. Because of jealousy, his brothers sold him into slavery in Egypt and told their father a wild animal had killed and eaten him. Joseph is taken to Egypt where he is bought by the Captain of Pharaoh’s guard, Potiphar, to work in his household. Eventually he is falsely accused of attempted rape by Potiphar’s wife, and thrown into the dungeon, where he stays some years. Eventually (I assume you know the story) through his gift from God of interpreting dreams, Joseph becomes the Prime Minister of Egypt, just under Pharaoh! Later there is a famine and his brothers come to Egypt to buy grain, where they end up meeting Joseph. That leads to the whole clan coming down from Canaan eventually. When their father Jacob dies, Joseph’s brothers come to him one more time afraid that now that their father had gone, Joseph might wreak some vengeance on them for the horrible deed they did. But Joseph said to them, “But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.” (Gen 50:20).
Now, in a way that is something like your circumstances. Your husband and friend betrayed you with their infidelity and I am sure are reaping some consequences, since usually these things really tear a hole in families.
If you want liberation, i.e., to know and experience God’s peace and freedom, the first place to start is to see God’s ONLY GOOD purposes in “meaning” all these things to be. Everything in life, positive or negative, is geared that we might see through all things and find only God as the
Source and Center of everything, including my (your) moment to moment existence. Understand, that is not excusing whatever sin or evil that was perpetrated. Instead, it is looking through all things to find God’s Good purposes, which from eternity is “to save much people alive.”
Should you try to “save” your marriage? Is that what God wants you to do? My advice is that you let it all go and give it to the Lord, and take “your hand” completely off the situation, and trust it to God, period, and rest there. It’s all in His hands.
War, such as the kind of “war” that comes up in adulterous situations, normally just keeps giving birth to itself. Conflict is met with conflict. We do not solve many issues that way, so best to leave it be.
You seem to be asking me a “legal technicality” question regarding should you try to save your marriage, etc., because of what others have told you and visiting “how to save your marriage” websites. If we go by what Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount, and what Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians, your marriage was technically dissolved when your husband committed adultery. Both Paul and Jesus give adultery as a legitimate reason to divorce. One does not have to divorce, but the option is there. But let’s say you want to try to get back with your husband — I would say the same thing as I said above. Take your hand off it, and trust God with the whole thing, including outcome. You see, whether you end up with him or not, that is not the ultimate goal anyway. God’s love and His salvation and knowing Who we are in Him are always God’s priorities, and sometimes it takes some pretty messy looking lives before some come to that point of realizing that the Only One Who can fully satisfy is the Lord God. No human person can be our ultimate fulfillment or satisfaction. We find that only in Christ, whether we are married or not. It is WONDERFUL when husband and wife love each other and each seek to elevate the other rather than themselves (which is what true marriage is), but they cannot come to that place to be for each other unless they have first come to finding Christ as their inner fulfillment and moment-by-moment total sufficiency.
So that’s the priority, _______. God.
So then, what about you and God — where do you stand?
Do you know that you and He are one person, and that your life in the world is His life expressed by and as you? Do you realize that the Spirit has worked in you the whole time you have known the Lord, and has sustained you and led you, even without you knowing it, your whole life? Jesus said the Father knows when a sparrow falls, and asks, “How much more are you worth to our Heavenly Father?”
This situation you are in is not for your destruction, but instead for a raising of your consciousness above the “weak and beggarly elements,” (Gal 4:9), that you might know the height and depth and width of the mystery of the Godhead! And we find all of that within ourselves! That is our true reality, the reality of the kingdom of heaven in the middle of every one of us.
You might think, “Well, that couldn’t be true about me.” (For whatever reasons you might think of.) But it IS true, if so be that you are in Christ! It is true of everyone in Christ, regardless of our knowledge. Think about it. Jesus told us He is the Light of the world, and He told us to shine His light. So, He is the Light of the world but He is the Light of the world through me to the world, through you to the world, and through all the whole household of God to the world. Paul told the Galatians he prayed that Christ would be fully “formed” in them.
Formed! Now that’s a strong word! Think of what he is saying. He is telling the Galatians that they are not just themselves, struggling to obey, pray, resist temptation, etc., but in actuality, are the dwelling place of the Living Christ through the Spirit, Who lives in us both to WILL and to DO of His good pleasure. Whatever is required of us, “Faithful is He Who calleth
you, Who will also do it.”
When we begin to see we are not just we alone, but that we live in a union in which Christ is the predominant party, being the Life in the Body, we begin to think as He and in the ways of faith. We may not have things in great clarity at first, but nevertheless we think His thoughts and speak His Word from our earliest days. This is opposite to how we perceived ourselves when we had a separated mind, where it seems God is always just a little out of reach, or maybe not there at all. To come into union is not a feeling, sensation or experience, but simply an inner knowing given by the Spirit that He and I are “one,” just as Jesus said. We are one with the Father, because He is one with the Father. We know His voice (and we do not rely only upon our discerning abilities to discern His voice — the Spirit makes us know it!), and we speak the words He puts into our mouths. We do the deeds He instigates in our own lives, but always, on the surface and maybe even in the “feeling” realm, it appears to be “only” us.
Faith is our lifeline in God, _______. There is nothing else that can do anything. That is why Satan’s main temptation is at our faith level. He seeks to undermine our faith by using condemnation and unbelief. But we know his trick now, so we don’t have to fall for it anymore! “The prince of this world cometh, but He has nothing in Me.” (John 14:30).
“I and my Father are one.” (John 10:30). “As He is, so are we in this world.” (1 john 4:17). “He that is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him.” (1 Cor 6:17).
This is the key to everything, _______. I was going to say it is the key to everything in Christ, but that makes it sound limited. It (union or oneness with God) is the key to everything without limit!
How do I receive this?
Ask the Lord for His understanding and believe He will give it. He will. One day we wake up and may say, “I and my Father are one.” We just begin to confess Who we are. We cannot help it. If we don’t shout it the rocks will shout it! The gates of Hell shall not prevail against this ROCK!
For now, as I advised above, I would “be still” and let God work.