The Affirmed I

By Fred Pruitt

Back in the early 1980s, when I was first discovering for myself the reality of Christ in me, I began to have urges to start a publication that would proclaim “Christ in you.” There were already publications that did that, of course, but for some reason I wanted to do it, too.

So I went through the dance most of us go through, when we have dreams, hopes and ideas that impress or urge us somehow toward a new action. It is the dance of, “Is this desire coming from God, or from some lesser source?” In other words, “Is this the will of God?”

That began a time of several months, in which I waffled back and forth on my answer to that question. My dilemma boiled down really to one thing — I had to believe in the totality of Christ in me, living as me, in order to trust that desire. I had to trust, to believe against appearances, that publishing a little magazine about “Christ in you” was not a self-indulgent thing, something for self-promotion, but that “the Father that dwelleth in me, He doeth the works,” period.

My greatest fear was myself, or put another way, my fear was that Christ really wasn’t my reality, and that I was still the same self-interested egotistical person I had been all my life.

But there came a point in that process, in which I came to a waterloo, and I made a leap of faith to jump over all the ever-present self-doubt and self-absorption (“What will people say? What if I can’t do it? What if people think I’m trying to get attention? What if I start it and it fails?”), and just do it anyway, believing without any sort of evidence (no voices, visions, fleeces) that this was a right thing to do.

So, with the help of my friend Cal Owens who offered printing & typesetting on equipment he had access to (no internet then), we started a little magazine called “ACT” — (Action in Christ Today), 16 pages, published quarterly, and we began printing and sending them out to a small mailing list of a couple hundred — which grew quite a bit over the two year period we did it.

I can’t begin to tell all the things that have happened since, because I saw that inner urge, which I questioned for months, through to completion. That little magazine was right in the stream of living water flowing out of me in God’s grace, and began a river journey that is still flowing, and the delta is still yet to come!

I couldn’t have told you that then. It was small, insignificant, with few tangible “results,” and I was as unsure of every successive step as I was the first one, yet kept taking them anyway, like finding your path across a stream on slippery rocks.

The same battle is sometimes joined in me today, almost thirty years later. The same temptations to self-doubt, the same self-absorption. Yet the answer has pressed itself deeper and deeper into my consciousness as faith has gone from glory to glory. And that has come to me these days as a once-for-all complete and total affirmation of what is to me the personal word of the Lord, that without equivocation or qualification He is my life and no other, that He has made me “accepted in the beloved.” He has presented me “faultless” and “without blame.” He “imputes no iniquity” to me; there is no condemnation whatsoever in Him toward anyone. He is the source, fullness and completion, and that He and I are one spirit, which means we are one person, and to say that is to say what Jesus said, to claim the same unity — unity — with the Father that Jesus boldly claimed. “I and my Father are one.”

Jesus even prayed specifically for that, that “they may be one as We are one.” “Glorify them with the same glory with which you glorify Me.” That’s the whole enchilada.

When I wrote the words above “that little magazine was right in the stream of living water flowing out of me,” I had a twinge of, “That sounds like you’re claiming to be something,” go through my mind.

But what else can we say and live in faith and not unbelief, except to say that “God is mighty in me”? Any other testimony would be unbelief, would it not?

I MUST affirm “I.” Because, “I and my Father are one.” My desires come from Him. My meat is to do His will. The fulfillment of them is by His Spirit. Rivers of living water flow out of me.

The faith of Joshua and Caleb demand it of us. The unbelief of the ten spies would keep us wandering in the wilderness, but today is the day to rise up and cross the Jordan, to possess the Promise of the Lord! “When you see me, you see the Father!”

Is that conceit? Maybe. If so it will have its reward. It will be burned up.

Is it dangerous? Yes, totally. It is the greatest risk in the universe. The stakes are the ultimate. To touch the mountain of God is death.

Is it Truth? Absolutely. There is no other. (Person, that is.)

I and my Father are one.

“I am the bread from heaven, if any man eat of me he shall live.”

Jesus isn’t walking around as Jesus of Nazareth anymore. Now that He has come into us by His Holy Spirit, He is now walking around as you and me, so that we are now the bread people eat. We no longer live to or for ourselves, but because He is in us to be us, we live to be life for others, though it may be death to us.

“I will dwell in them and walk in them, and be their God, and they shall be my people.”

That is the New Covenant.

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9 thoughts on “The Affirmed I

  1. This is confirmation Fred, yes we are the living walking word of Christ who lives and moves and has His being in us. Where else can I go, if I make my bed in hell, He is there also. He has taken me, and so I have taken Him. Your words are life, because you lived it. That speaks volumes to me. I have been there too. Wonderful.
    Love to you,
    Judy

  2. One of my favorites, I think……What a specific, necessary and especially in my case, APPRECIATED role your writings serve in the sea of words that is composed of people trying to talk about Jesus with or without inner realities ringing through! Your thoughts and naked honesty are not like a breath of fresh air–that metaphor would almost demean them. They are representative of the sea change that IS the in-Christed-life….the essence of living it so different than what we cluelessly stumble into it thinking (usually at the front altar of a church). Jesus said, “I am the Door…” and for me that very metaphor invites “exploration”….In Him are hidden all treasures of wisdom and knowledge…and how that excites me. You write about a Jesus who is UNAFRAID of US because He knows the completeness of His work and that helps me relax a little bit more every time I read…..

    • Wow, Perianne, what a wonderful outpouring! Yes, “exploration.” One of my favorite quotes from Thomas Merton is, “Being in Christ is like being in a wide, impregnable country.” I’ve always envisioned that like a wide meadow in which a horse runs free, to walk, run, gallop, frolic, as well as the rest in the shade and enjoy the warmth. And oh it is so much more than we can describe! Bless you, Dear! Love to you and Paul!

  3. Thank you, Fred! This was very timely! I struggle with those exact same sensations every day the urge to write something surfaces and not at least when I have published something. To affirm myself in faith is almost a daily battle. God is, however, patient and kind and helps me through again and again. In this season He uses you and others to confirm me. I believe He is building up my faith and my ability to see that we are completely one for the times to come. Much love to you, my friend!

  4. Awesome Fred! This is really what the body of Christ needs to become aware of. How many there must be that haven’t heard this and how easily those that have can forget. Each day we must dare to believe that we are the presence of God where we go and whatever we do.

  5. Hi Fred, Seen there was more comments made since I copied this, so trust mind is not too late.
    THIS IS IT!! So wonderfully said. I get butterflies reading the article and I am saying: This is My God and I love enchiladas—HIS
    Fred, what I love about you, is I can I.D. with your writings. You make yourself so vunderable and tell the nitty- gritty—like it is. First the doubts, fears but then The Victory in JESUS. I love it!!
    Yes, I agree, we want the whole world to know for He is the answer in total truth AND we need reminded. I want to shout it from the housetops.!! His timing and place is HIS. I am sharing this with our Bible Study today.
    Thank you our Lord and God! and thank YOU for working mighty in Fred, as Fred, for OTHERS.

  6. And are not even the unbelieving ten in their unbelief because God has some thing to accomplish through their unbelief?

    I don’t have to worry about where I am or even my perception of where I am- because regardless of my perception He and I are one! (Am I someone now? lol)

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