Top Post of Last Two Years
I posted my first articles on the http://thesingleeye.wordpress.com, on July 21, 2010. Almost two years ago now. On my previous (now defunct) website, there was no way to keep track of what articles were being read. But on the WordPress blog, that is very easy to keep up with. And consistently, since I first posted the article below on September 16, 2010, this post has been the most “read:” “I Don’t Feel or Hear God Anymore.” (I guess I could call it the most popular.)
I have to think it is of note that this is the article that has been read more than any other posts (now 324 posts) on the blog. It must strike a chord that sounds in all of us.
I think maybe part of the reason is that this is the heart of the matter, is it not? Did not Jesus pray, in His last prayer before the Garden in John, “That they might know thee, the only True God, and Jesus Christ, Whom He hath sent”? (Jn 17:3) This is the heart of the gospel. This is the heritage of the saints in light. Union, fellowship, with God!
And that is not understood and lived only when we are conceptually correct and intellectually satisfied, but by the Spirit and of the Spirit, where the voice of man is no longer heard, except it be the Spirit Who speaks in that man. That is why we must press through all the “what ifs” and “how to’s” and what our preachers say and what the books say, into God Himself. We don’t worship grace. We worship God. We don’t worship union. We worship God.
So it all boils down to God and us. As some of the older writers call it, “the Alone with the alone.” Everything I write, everything I seek to get across, to share, is really all about this one thing.
And this “one thing,” is not a “thing” at all, but a Person, The Person, and He is eternal Mystery; He is past finding out. We cannot “figure out” God. How can the thing “made” figure out that which made it? That is like expecting goldfish to come up with a clear and concise definition of the “Great Being,” who comes and dumps fish food into their bowl everyday, and then departs out of their sight into another realm (room) where they have never been and of which they can have no possible concept. We know as much of God as do those goldfish, or as much of God as the cows know the farmer that brings them the hay everyday. And as great as are the scientific explorations and accomplishments we have seen in our days, even the science of man reaches no further into understanding the Great Mystery than the goldfish or the cows do in their understandings. He is past finding out.
However, we can say we Do know Him as He has made Himself known in us. We may not have an adequate intellectual understanding of the Life which works in us, and have far more questions than answers, but He has made Himself known in us by His Spirit. And, despite the insatiable insistence of appearances which continually rise up as if in opposition to God, claiming “they” are our truth, nonetheless every day the Spirit walks us through that valley of shadow and we reach the still waters which flow out of Him in our middle, and every day, by His Spirit Who is our continual inner “witness,” we rise out of death into life, and this is not to or for our own benefit but for the edification, perfection and equipping of the saints of God, the whole body of Christ, for “And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.” (Rev 14:11).
So I am passing on this article again.
I Don’t Feel or Hear God Anymore
by Fred Pruitt
I just read your post on Lazarus and wanted to respond.
Lately, it seems I have fallen into disbelief. It is not so much that I look at myself and doubt that God could take up residence in me. I believe that on faith. It is just that I feel a lag, like I have taken by faith my union with God, that I am Lazarus, dead but believing and waiting for the Lord to call me into life. I have felt for a long time now that I am in limbo…waiting for His voice to call me forth. I honestly don’t know if I know what joy is and am wondering about abundant life. If what I have is abundant life, then I am sorely disappointed (I know that may sound like an awful thing to say). There was a time when I felt His prescence and heard His voice but it seems so quiet now. I keep wondering if I have done something to “blow it” but I know that cannot be because it is not about me. My mantra seems to be “don’t worry”. well, I was just wondering if you have many of these times.
Thanks for listening.
There’s hardly a week that goes by that I don’t feel the onslaught of what you are talking about. I think we all do. It’s a great place to be because light shines in the darkness. That’s what John 1:5 says. “If I make by bed in hell, lo, thou art there.”
Hell (worry, onslaughts of temptation to unbelief) is the place where we find Him. I would say to you to rejoice, for your redemption draweth nigh! It is not about “feeling” Presence or hearing His voice in the same way you used to know. This is sometimes pure believing (standing in the truth) when you cannot perceive anything tangible. When you realize you cannot even believe anymore, hallelujah, then you are at the bottom, because believing is all that is required of you, yet you cannot even do that. Hallelujah!
Then you begin to see it is His faith operating in you. When you cannot say it or see it He in you is saying and seeing it. It is all too much for us, but we find ourselves anyway confessing to the Lord, “I don’t think I can go on with this, but I have no other way to go. So you must do it, because I cannot.”
Maybe we seem to hold on with our fingernails, afraid to let go because hell is below me ready to swallow me up, but I let go finally anyway and find myself upheld in the Everlasting Arms.
There are times when I’ve said, like the children of Israel, that life was better before I knew Christ. Why would I want to get anybody involved in this crap I’m feeling? It’s great to come to the bottom.
And then to realize that Christ went down to the lowest depths only to be raised to the HIGHEST heights, and He took us there together with Him. Look at the emphasis on the word “together” in Ephesians 2:5,6. “Quickened us TOGETHER, raised us TOGETHER, and has made us “sit TOGETHER.” You see, there we are TOGETHER with Him, so that where He is, we are, and where we are, He is.
So that’s your reality. That is what you are living in at this present moment. That is your truth. So you don’t “feel” it, but you are being taken into something beyond “feeling,” and into “knowing,” but it isn’t an objective knowing like you know the sky is blue and 2+2=4, but rather the same kind of “mixed-together” knowing as when Adam “knew” Eve, his wife.
You now know subjectively, rather than objectively, that is, God has moved Himself in your consciousness from outside you to inside you, and you just “know” it, from within.
Right now you say you have taken the faith stand but do not have the “knowing.” Don’t make too much of that. Stand on what you have taken in faith as your present living truth. Don’t wait for some kind of “experience” to overtake you because you can just live right now walking around as He every day. It becomes an unconscious/consciousness. You don’t wake up every morning and have to remind yourself who you are, you just are you, with no particular feeling about it. You can’t help being you. Well, He is joined to you in this same inner way. He and You are One, and you just live in it.
It isn’t an experience that you know outside yourself as something that has come on you, some “thing” you are supposed to feel or see, but this inner knowing is simply you being you and you being Him in your world. You don’t “feel” that but you just are that. Like in your daily activities, I don’t say, “OK, this is Fred doing this, this is Fred doing that.” No, you just do your stuff, not even thinking about “I am doing this stuff” because you’re just doing it. You forget yourself and do what you do.
Same with this. He and you are one, so you just walk around doing what you do and you forget yourself and you forget you’re Christ in you but you’re just you being you and it IS being Him. This does not make any sort of sense to reason but is the Truth of who you are.
Just accept it and say, “Ok, Lord, you are one with me and when I am walking it is you walking,” and then forget it and get on with your life. There will always be times that doubt will assail you but He will uphold you in all those times and walk you through, because, remember, He isn’t doing this just for you, but for all those in your world that He reaches by you, because He flows out of you. You’re right on the money!