I Don’t Feel or Hear God Anymore

2012 Preface

Top Post of Last Two Years

I posted my first articles on the http://thesingleeye.wordpress.com, on July 21, 2010. Almost two years ago now. On my previous (now defunct) website, there was no way to keep track of what articles were being read. But on the WordPress blog, that is very easy to keep up with. And consistently, since I first posted the article below on September 16, 2010, this post has been the most “read:” “I Don’t Feel or Hear God Anymore.” (I guess I could call it the most popular.)

I have to think it is of note that this is the article that has been read more than any other posts (now 324 posts) on the blog. It must strike a chord that sounds in all of us.

I think maybe part of the reason is that this is the heart of the matter, is it not? Did not Jesus pray, in His last prayer before the Garden in John, “That they might know thee, the only True God, and Jesus Christ, Whom He hath sent”? (Jn 17:3) This is the heart of the gospel. This is the heritage of the saints in light. Union, fellowship, with God!

And that is not understood and lived only when we are conceptually correct and intellectually satisfied, but by the Spirit and of the Spirit, where the voice of man is no longer heard, except it be the Spirit Who speaks in that man. That is why we must press through all the “what ifs” and “how to’s” and what our preachers say and what the books say, into God Himself. We don’t worship grace. We worship God. We don’t worship union. We worship God.

So it all boils down to God and us. As some of the older writers call it, “the Alone with the alone.” Everything I write, everything I seek to get across, to share, is really all about this one thing.

And this “one thing,” is not a “thing” at all, but a Person, The Person, and He is eternal Mystery; He is past finding out. We cannot “figure out” God. How can the thing “made” figure out that which made it? That is like expecting goldfish to come up with a clear and concise definition of the “Great Being,” who comes and dumps fish food into their bowl everyday, and then departs out of their sight into another realm (room) where they have never been and of which they can have no possible concept. We know as much of God as do those goldfish, or as much of God as the cows know the farmer that brings them the hay everyday. And as great as are the scientific explorations and accomplishments we have seen in our days, even the science of man reaches no further into understanding the Great Mystery than the goldfish or the cows do in their understandings. He is past finding out.

However, we can say we Do know Him as He has made Himself known in us. We may not have an adequate intellectual understanding of the Life which works in us, and have far more questions than answers, but He has made Himself known in us by His Spirit. And, despite the insatiable insistence of appearances which continually rise up as if in opposition to God, claiming “they” are our truth, nonetheless every day the Spirit walks us through that valley of shadow and we reach the still waters which flow out of Him in our middle, and every day, by His Spirit Who is our continual inner “witness,” we rise out of death into life, and this is not to or for our own benefit but for the edification, perfection and equipping of the saints of God, the whole body of Christ, for “And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.” (Rev 14:11).

So I am passing on this article again.

I Don’t Feel or Hear God Anymore

by Fred Pruitt

Dear Fred,

I just read your post on Lazarus and wanted to respond.

Lately, it seems I have fallen into disbelief. It is not so much that I look at myself and doubt that God could take up residence in me. I believe that on faith. It is just that I feel a lag, like I have taken by faith my union with God, that I am Lazarus, dead but believing and waiting for the Lord to call me into life. I have felt for a long time now that I am in limbo…waiting for His voice to call me forth. I honestly don’t know if I know what joy is and am wondering about abundant life. If what I have is abundant life, then I am sorely disappointed (I know that may sound like an awful thing to say). There was a time when I felt His prescence and heard His voice but it seems so quiet now. I keep wondering if I have done something to “blow it” but I know that cannot be because it is not about me. My mantra seems to be “don’t worry”. well, I was just wondering if you have many of these times.

Thanks for listening.

_____________________________________________________________________

Dear _____________

There’s hardly a week that goes by that I don’t feel the onslaught of what you are talking about. I think we all do. It’s a great place to be because light shines in the darkness. That’s what John 1:5 says. “If I make by bed in hell, lo, thou art there.”

Hell (worry, onslaughts of temptation to unbelief) is the place where we find Him. I would say to you to rejoice, for your redemption draweth nigh! It is not about “feeling” Presence or hearing His voice in the same way you used to know. This is sometimes pure believing (standing in the truth) when you cannot perceive anything tangible. When you realize you cannot even believe anymore, hallelujah, then you are at the bottom, because believing is all that is required of you, yet you cannot even do that. Hallelujah!

Then you begin to see it is His faith operating in you. When you cannot say it or see it He in you is saying and seeing it. It is all too much for us, but we find ourselves anyway confessing to the Lord, “I don’t think I can go on with this, but I have no other way to go. So you must do it, because I cannot.”

Maybe we seem to hold on with our fingernails, afraid to let go because hell is below me ready to swallow me up, but I let go finally anyway and find myself upheld in the Everlasting Arms.

There are times when I’ve said, like the children of Israel, that life was better before I knew Christ. Why would I want to get anybody involved in this crap I’m feeling? It’s great to come to the bottom.

And then to realize that Christ went down to the lowest depths only to be raised to the HIGHEST heights, and He took us there together with Him. Look at the emphasis on the word “together” in Ephesians 2:5,6. “Quickened us TOGETHER, raised us TOGETHER, and has made us “sit TOGETHER.” You see, there we are TOGETHER with Him, so that where He is, we are, and where we are, He is.

So that’s your reality. That is what you are living in at this present moment. That is your truth. So you don’t “feel” it, but you are being taken into something beyond “feeling,” and into “knowing,” but it isn’t an objective knowing like you know the sky is blue and 2+2=4, but rather the same kind of “mixed-together” knowing as when Adam “knew” Eve, his wife.

You now know subjectively, rather than objectively, that is, God has moved Himself in your consciousness from outside you to inside you, and you just “know” it, from within.

Right now you say you have taken the faith stand but do not have the “knowing.” Don’t make too much of that. Stand on what you have taken in faith as your present living truth. Don’t wait for some kind of “experience” to overtake you because you can just live right now walking around as He every day. It becomes an unconscious/consciousness. You don’t wake up every morning and have to remind yourself who you are, you just are you, with no particular feeling about it. You can’t help being you. Well, He is joined to you in this same inner way. He and You are One, and you just live in it.

It isn’t an experience that you know outside yourself as something that has come on you, some “thing” you are supposed to feel or see, but this inner knowing is simply you being you and you being Him in your world. You don’t “feel” that but you just are that. Like in your daily activities, I don’t say, “OK, this is Fred doing this, this is Fred doing that.” No, you just do your stuff, not even thinking about “I am doing this stuff” because you’re just doing it. You forget yourself and do what you do.

Same with this. He and you are one, so you just walk around doing what you do and you forget yourself and you forget you’re Christ in you but you’re just you being you and it IS being Him. This does not make any sort of sense to reason but is the Truth of who you are.

Just accept it and say, “Ok, Lord, you are one with me and when I am walking it is you walking,” and then forget it and get on with your life. There will always be times that doubt will assail you but He will uphold you in all those times and walk you through, because, remember, He isn’t doing this just for you, but for all those in your world that He reaches by you, because He flows out of you. You’re right on the money!

Bless you,
fred

17 thoughts on “I Don’t Feel or Hear God Anymore

  1. Just today I was with a friend; our situations, and our revelation of Christ and our oneness with Him was just what you articulated in this “note.” Lately, for ex.,, my “problems” have increased, and my deliverance is always the same. It is the truth you mentioned: a switch from natural to spiritual, or from living by sight into living in the glorious truth of having been raised together with Christ. That (being raised with Him) was shown as being after having been identified with Him in His death. Now, we are alive to God in Jesus Christ. His resurrection life is our life. And His grace is sufficient for the “trouble” or problems facing us “in the world.”

    Again, faith, His faith given to us, is the victory that overcomes the world including all the problems/trouble in it.

  2. Oh my gosh, I have been ‘feeling’ like that for about 5 years now, and have been through so many trials and problems, and am at the point where I’ve just told Him that I don’t know if I EVER loved Him and am I born again and what have I done wrong, has He left me. OH God I have cried, Please don’t take your Spirit from me!!
    ]
    Thank you for sharing this, it has helped, although I do wish this opposite awful feeling of apprehension as opposed to faith, would leave my trembling heart!

    • Bless you, Lyn. We ALL experience this from time to time. Just keep standing in the faith-awareness the Spirit has given you, even against those “feelings” of the opposite. Tell the Lord you can’t do it yourself, He’ll have to do the standing and believing in you. He is already fulfilled in you, Lyn, and you already are all that He says you are. But we are given these times of “negatives” in order that we might learn to walk in Christ whether in feeling or not feeling, whether sad or elated, in whatever state — He lives His life as you and me. “Be not weary … for you shall reap in due season, if you faint not,” and, since He is the One in you holding you, (Is 42:1), and keeping you (1 Pet 1:5), is the Doer in you. Relax, love, you can let go in Him and find yourself upheld in the Everlasting Arms, that never fail. You’ll see!

  3. I’ve been feeling like for some some time now, I cant help but wonder if Im doing anything right and Im trying to be more positive in life and to be cheery around other people but I cant if Im down. I just feel like im going in the wrong direction and doing something wrong, is this the feeling of doing something wrong or is this whats right???

    • Jeremy, one thing that is positive in what you have written, is that “disturbance” in ourselves is the means God uses to move us into greater knowledge and understanding of Him. It is difficult for me to tell you much more than that because I do not know you or your circumstances. I know the Lord, however, and because I have been one who has been where you are, I know He will bring you to Himself and resolve these issues in you in due time. Something “general” I can tell you is that God is faithful. He is not angry with you even if you have messed up in some way. His compassion and love for you is endless and abundant. I know you want to know and experience that in your own life, and I want you to do so, also. If you would like, I could be more personal with you and you with me via email, which would be just between you and me. This “comment” section is public, but I think it might be good if we perhaps chatted a bit via email, to maybe offer you something more specific than I have told you, if I have a better idea of your personal circumstances. My email is fhpjrrom@gmail.com. I would love to hear from you.

  4. I’ve read so many articles about “not experiencing God” that never really answer the struggle or address my experience. Job’s friends gave him the easy answers: You must be sinning; You must be lacking in faith; You must have a hardened heart . . . and I’ve been given the same answers. Fifteen years ago I was an ordained minister, passionate about serving God. Then I buried all the members of the church and my denomination dropped me by the side of the road. When i was suffering intense grief, those who were supposed to love and care for me showed me that their love was empty. God has been noticeably silent. By now, I’m tired of people saying that the feel God’s presence because I sure don’t feel anything. I still believe God loves me and Jesus died for my salvation, but it is dry and lifeless. I’ve gone on retreats; I’ve spent endless hours in meditative prayer; I’ve counseled with other pastors. Yet, prayer seems pointless; God is absent; and I’ve endured the bitter side of church people. It makes me wonder why I still believe.

    • Dear Pat,

      Thank you for writing and for your honesty. Honesty is much better than pretense. You did not ask me anything or seem to require a reply to what you wrote, so I will leave it at that. I would gladly dialogue with you further if you have any interest to do so.

      Sincerely,
      fred

  5. Of course I’m up late wondering why I can’t hear God’s voice in this dead silence. I can recall praying and writing letters to God as a child and as a teenager. Once I hit the age of 20 things got a bit rocky. I just turned 28 and a couple months back rededicated my life to christ. I never stopped loving God I just got side tracked and filled with anger often times simply wondering why why why? See, I’m a “survivor” of sexual abuse I’m not sure how well I’ve survived besides the fact that I’m still here and in therapy barely holding it together. I used to hear from God, then one day it’s like somebody turned off the speakers in heaven. More than anything it’s frustrating because he’s my only father. I feel like I’ve been abandoned completely. My biological father left when I was 2 we have a relationship now, my step father sexually abused me, so I clinged to my heavenly father then suddenly it’s like he’s gone. I pray, I fast, I feel so lost and alone most days I just want to give up. I don’t want to hear anyone give me an analogy about anything I just want my father to talk to me. I came across your blog searching for answers yearning for something because I feel like he’s left me like payback because I was in sin from age 20-27. Is that what this is? I’m so confused and so hurt.

    • Hi Bre, thanks for writing. I’ll get back soon. He has not left you, and it would be the farthest thing from God’s nature to give you “payback” because you were in sin from age 20-27. You will see His glory, and you will see it in yourself! Don’t give up! I have just seen your note and cannot say more now, except what I have already said. There is hope!
      fred

    • Hi, I have written you a rather lengthy reply and sent it to your email as far as I can tell. Since you wrote what you did in public I went ahead and made the reply to you something that could be beneficial to others who have similar issues, as a new blog post for everyone’s benefit. I did not quote you or mention you by name. It is just that so many have similar situations and issues that you are having, and everybody is looking for God’s comfort. So I think your story will contribute to God’s work in others in bringing them to the Light of Christ. Thank you for writing. You can find that on my blog under this title: “Has God Forsaken Me?”

  6. Well I was born-again in 2005 and grew very close to God. Over time for some reason I lost everything. Now I do not feel anything but anger and frustration. Even when I go to church I feel like a religious hypocrite with no spiritual life in me. I have struggled with pornography as well. I often wonder why this has happened to me. Others say there is hope but I disbelieve that because I have tried so hard for so long to be close to God. Its not fair that some people have such great lives close to God and others cannot. kind alike Jacob and Esau

    • Dear Anonymous, thank you for your honest comment. All of us experience things like you are experiencing, times when the Lord does not seem to be there, when He seems “silent” to us, and we sometimes panic and think He is gone from us or does not love us like He loves others. It is normal to have those thoughts. We all do. But since we ARE born again people, having God’s Spirit in us, we have these thoughts, but we do not live in them, but we live in Christ by faith. And we stand on that faith of Christ through which we first entered the kingdom, and trust Him with our lives, come thick or thin. And dark times, no matter the immediate reason, are beneficial moments when we especially learn faith in God’s “school of faith.” There is nothing that comes to us that does not come in some way by some use of faith. Whether Spirit faith in the things of God, or natural faith working the things of this world. We use both at all times. But there is also the perseverance of faith, where we believe when we cannot see, and continue to believe, being as Abraham, who “being not weak in faith … He staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief; but was strong in faith, giving glory to God; 21 And being fully persuaded that, what he had promised, he was able also to perform. 22 And therefore it was imputed to him for righteousness. (Rom 4). In those sentences from Paul the whole key to turning the lock opening the door to all the things of God is revealed in plain sight. Abraham waited 25 years to see the promise in the flesh after He received the Promise from God. In all things through those 25 years He continued to hold God’s inner word to him as truth. The “way” of God, is activated in us in faith. There is no other answer, no other method, since faith is not a method, but the receptivity we have built into us, our one human faculty of our freedom, called faith. Believing what God has promised and standing there in its completion only in your faith confession, with no evidence to the senses whatsoever that God’s promises are true in me. I say they are, because He says they are! Paul wrote, “I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that He will keep that which I committed unto Him until that day.” (2 Tim 1:12). What did Paul “commit” to the Lord? His very self, for he had nothing else, and neither do we. We committed our lives to Him, into His keeping, and into His Promise, that He would lead us through this valley of the shadow of death and bring us to the still waters. Surely we do not say God does not perform His promises!

      Now, I have to mention the last part of what you wrote, and it has something of bitterness and sour grapes there, saying things like God “is not fair,” and envying almost to the point of covetousness, jealousy for some others’ apparent success, and bitterness about your own, because you want what they have. My friend, that is a Cainish thought, who saw God’s “approval” on Abel, whereas he felt rejected. Rather than seek God to find why he was rejected (and it is the same issue in Cain and Abel as with us today), out of envy and covetousness which exploded finally into murderous rage, Cain “rose up” and slew his brother Abel. Abel came to the Lord by faith, not trusting his own efforts but trusting God’s mercy and love. Cain came in his self-works expecting to please God because of his successes, and was rejected, not because of some “election” thing where one is selected and another rejected arbitrarily by God, but because of unbelief. God honors faith, moves in faith, accomplishes in faith, and as Abraham learned, and all the people of faith have learned ever since, when we “hook into” God, we “hook into” His faith operating in all the levels of ourselves as well as all creation. All eventually learn as their own, to either accept or reject, Hebrews 11:6 — “For without faith it is impossible to please Him. For he that cometh to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” One has to make up one’s mind on this issue.

      I would urge you then to drop the sour grapes, and confess the truth God originally showed you, if you believe it. No sense saying it if you don’t believe it, at least in some small way. Even the smallest of faiths can grow up into a great tree that provides shade and sustenance to many. We start where we are. You can even say to God all your honest thoughts, and say you are having trouble believing, but you will believe anyway. It isn’t something mental (to “wrap our head around”), but a simple decision to agree with God and believe that what He promised He has performed. Will we “see” it? Yes, with our new eyes, we will, we do. The only entering in is by faith and this “faith,” which is God’s gift to us and always available, and there is no time limit regarding fulfillments we have yet to see. Whether we see or not, we believe. Whether we feel Him or not, we believe. Even should we slide into sin, we can at any moment wake up and believe. Job said, “Though he slay me yet I will trust Him.” This is the same faith, since it was God’s in Job and is God’s in us, that operated in Job and now it courses through our being with God’s vitality, and is completely ours to express the things of God — or not. Which way do we express our faith? One does not become “Esau” by some arbitrary election, that was not the lesson. The lesson is about flesh and spirit and gift vs earned wages. All those stories are about that. Esau was the flesh man, who spurned his birthright for a bowl of soup! He tore it from himself, even as Saul tore the kingdom for himself in 1 Samuel when he presumed to take over the sacrifice when Samuel was delayed, doing what the flesh man always tries to do, run the show and be its own god in the place of God. We have all been Esau, and if Christ is in us, we are Jacob. WE moved from being Esau to being Jacob, who was the type of Christ, the Spirit man.

      I’ll just leave you with another admonition from Paul, you can do with it what you want. “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” (Gal 6:9)

      To use a sports metaphor, to get the ball back fully in God’s court, the ball has to be passed back to you first, to see what you will do with it. The ball, as they say, is in your court. “When the Son of man cometh, shall he find faith on the earth?” (Luke 18:8). This is not a rhetorical question the Lord is throwing out. It is a question everyone has to answer for himself.

      Blessings,
      fred

  7. Dear Fred,

    Most authors and pastors and friends tell me Truth—but it seems like tidy, useless platitudes. If they can’t relate to my pain, how I can I relate to their answers? I know that’s arrogant, because we all experience pain. And Truth is Truth. But it’s very specific, the pain of feeling separated from God for years and years, with no relief. I’m glad I’m not alone. Thank you for making a space for people to voice their pain.

    I wonder–do you know anyone like this–who has hurt for years and years–and made it out? It’d sure be good if God is still in me, because I have no hope anymore. It’s been too long.

    • Hi Leah,

      To answer your question, yes, I do know someone who hurt for years and years, and made it out — ME!

      For YEARS I felt like you. God has a great purpose for it, so if for now, you do not yet see it, you can still praise because all this that you are experiencing is God teaching you Himself, especially to believe when we do not see, hear or feel. God is taking you to a greater reality than you have previously known, and this has been the path to get there. You will see God’s promises fulfilled in yourself!

      Here is a link to a more recent article about the same thing, “Has God Forsaken Me?” You might find it helpful.

      Do not be afraid, only believe!

      http://thesingleeye.wordpress.com/2013/01/30/has-god-forsaken-me/

  8. felt god dealing with me as a 15 year old and off and on threw life ,,Battled depression and panic atacks all my life .. Ive been sinning along time use to feel god in my heart …Im 46 years old Now when i pray i dont feel god anymore im afraid to go the church afraid of embarisment .

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